I find myself saying, "If I get salmonella - so be it" a lot whilst cooking...

Probably not a good sign.
Hmmmm.

Anyway, I've worked in retail before but never at one of those find all places like Target or Walgreen's where you can find anything.
I feel like the cashiers there must come across some really strange stuff... one of those, " I don't want to eat whatever the fuck you are cooking with those ingredients" kind of thing.
I even find myself thinking that just looking at other peoples' carts in the grocery store.

With that in mind, I have to give some respect to the cashier at Target this weekend who didnt even raise an eyebrow when I checked out with only 2 pairs of lacy thong undies and a meat tenderizer.
I appreciate not being judged.

Crafting Anyone?

I made mention a while ago about my awesome-ly crafty birthday idea.
It came to fruition this week for a glorious birthday celebration with wine, sausage, risotto, and people staring - a lot.

Friend loves several things, one of them being mustaches.
So I made her some.
Naturally in the most gaudy and attention grabbing way I could.

Yay! Mustache Pillows. Funny yet functional.

They can also be used as water buffalo horns... If that's what you're into.

Happy Melissmas

If you aren't prepared for the answer... don't ask.

Even though my corroded and blunt advice generally tends to go unheeded, I still never seem to cease to give it. Sorry. Part of me feels guilty, but it is the small part that I beat into submission regularly.

Por Ejemplo: If you are comforting an ex-girlfriend and attempt to justify it, you are guaranteed to unleash the uncouth advice monster.
"I know I shouldn't, but do you think I could get sexual favors for this?"

"If you mean being emotionally fisted, then yes."


You're Welcome.